Just because youre paranoid doesnt mean theyre not out to get you.

A generation or two ago, people spoke this line with a smile. It appears as though some folks didnt get the jokeand that today some of them have gone to work for the International Agency for Research on Cancer (IARC).

Thats because the IARC is about to issue another one of its ridiculous reports on carcinogensand its most likely going to say that one of the safest crop-protection products ever made is a probable cause of cancer in people.

Dont believe the hype. This French-based agency of the United Nations thinks that just about everything is a potential carcinogen. In its 50-year history, it has tried to determine the carcinogenic effects of nearly 1,000 different agentseverything from asbestos to x-rays.

In the abstract, this sounds like a useful exercise. We need good scientific research on the causes of cancer.

In practice, malgrat això, the IARC has produced a confusing jumble of misinformation. Consider how many times in its half-century of existence the IARC has given a clean bill of health to one of the substances it has studied.

Just once.

This means the IARC will declare any agent it studies to be non-carcinogenic about one-tenth of one percent of the time. L'altre 99.9 percent of the time, the agents it studies fall into one of several categories.

The female hormone estrogen? Its carcinogenic, without qualification. Sunlight? Also definitely carcinogenic.

Frying food? Its probably carcinogenic.

Coffee and picked vegetables? Theyre possibly carcinogenic.

So women who walk down the street on a nice day to buy coffee or French fries apparently take a death-defying risk.

The IARC labels a fourth category as not classifiable as to its carcinogenicity. This means the IARC wont say for sure that something is carcinogenic, but neither will it rule out the possibility.

Fluorescent lighting falls into this group. The IARC refuses to make the positive statement that the overhead lights in your office arent killing you slowly.

This is the precautionary principle on steroids (which are probably carcinogenic, by the way).

The only substance that the IARC ever has labeled probably not carcinogenic to humans is something called caprolactam. It helps make a type of nylon.

On June 9, the IARC will issue a formal announcement on a popular and effective herbicide with an odd name: 2,4-D. You already know the odds that they will determine that 2,4-D is a certifiably safe product: a tiny fraction of a percentage point.

IARC has not conducted new research. It never does. Instead it just looks at data produced by others and issues a novel interpretation. It doesnt care about whether it contradicts a well-established consensus.

How safe is 2,4-D? Its one of the most common herbicides on the planet. Your grandmother puts it in her garden. You spread it on your lawn, perhaps as recently as this week.

I started using it on my farm decades ago. I havent recently, as different products ideal for treating my specific weed challenges have come along. Yet some farmers believe that 2,4-D may be newly viable in combination with other forms of herbicideperhaps confirming the old adage that everything old is new again. We should encourage them to try rather than alarm them with propaganda.

The fundamental problem with IARCs approach is that just about anything can be said to cause cancerbut only when people are exposed to unrealistically massive doses of it. Thats how coffee winds up on the IARCs danger list. A cup or two of coffee each day is harmless. It may even be good for you, according to some medical data. But filling a Gatorade cooler with coffee and drinking its contents at every meal is probably a mistake.

So is taking a bath in 2,4-D. But who does that? We shouldnt let implausible scenarios or circumstances frighten us away from the conventional use of safe products.

In the battle to feed the world, farmers must fight weeds with science. Thats hard enough. Now it looks like the IARC is out to get us as well.

Bill Horan grows corn, soybeans and other grains with his brother on a family farm based in North Central Iowa. Bill volunteers as a board member and serves as Chairman for Truth About Trade & tecnologia (www.truthabouttrade.org).

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